26th of Guardian, 9:36 DragonAge
"I think I've finally done it! I think I have found a way to separate Justice and me. I have tested it out on Hawke, the only other mage I know who has the stamina and physique to withstand these experiments. The goal of the experiment was to successfully lure a demon or spirit to his mind and then, in turn, send it away.
The mixture contained four parts elfroot, two parts saltpeter and one part cheese. Barely ten seconds after consuming the mixture Hawke went into violent convulsions for half a minute, an episode that ended with him foaming at the mouth before falling back on the table.
His heart rate had gone up, as well as his temperature, but he seemed fine otherwise. After he woke up, I inquired how he felt. His response was curious at first, as if he didn't know where he was. He simply stared at me, wide eyed, his mouth opening and closing in something resembling terror. Then, finally, he answered me. 'Where the hell am I?'
I, of course in the belief that this was Garret Hawke, told him he was in my clinic in Kirkwall. This did not reassure him. Rather the opposite, he shook his head and mumbled 'No, no, no' over and over.
Then, it occurred to me that this might be the breakthrough I had been hoping for. So I asked him his name, to which he responded with a perplexed tone in his voice. 'My name is Ilona. And I hope to God this is just some weird dream.'
Dear Maker, I think we've done it!"
27th of Guardian, 9:36 DragonAge
"This has been a disaster. The Ilona demon has wreaked havoc upon Kirkwall, all while in possession of Hawke's body. After telling me its name, it got up from the table and looked at its hands as if it had never seen them before.
When I ordered the demon to tell me what type of demon it was, it turned to me with horror written on its face. 'What the fuck did you do to me?' it whispered hoarsely, reaching for my robe.
I'm shamed to admit that I do not know from first hand experience what happened afterwards. As I raised my own hands in self defense the demon cast a Cone of Cold on me, effectively freezing me on the spot. After the spell had worn off, the demon had vanished.
All day I have been hunting Hawke's body all over Kirkwall, following a trail of Fireballs, Firestorms and Winter's Grasps everywhere. Witnesses spoke of a dark haired man wandering through the streets, crying and calling out 'Will nobody help me?!' as he casts his destructive spells everywhere. Some people insisted the man did not know what he was doing, seemingly casting the spells by accident.
After hours of giving chase I finally found Hawke safe and sound, sleeping peacefully near the HangedMan. I am not sure what to think of this creature but it seems to have left Hawke. Justice, however, is adamant that this was no demon. We shall continue our experiments after Hawke has regained his strength."
I am terribly sorry dear friend, but I must insist that we stop with our blind experiments to separate Justice and you. Our last experience has left me shaken to my core. I had left my own body and found myself waking up in the form of a woman I did not know. Imagine my shock when I noticed that every last grain of magic had left my veins, not able to detect even the smallest unit of lyrium anywhere!
Despite what you might think, I assure you that this was no mere nightmare. This world where I ended up was terrifying. No guards, no templars. The elves, dwarves and Qunari were nowhere to be found, the only intelligent creatures I saw were humans. And such humans! They were clothed in strange fabrics and traveled in horrible metal chariots that roared and vomited black stinking smoke in the air. I must have stood there for hours, just gaping at everything around me.
Just think what this meant! These humans must have killed or imprisoned all other species from their world. That thought almost proved too much for me to bear and I fled away from that ghastly place with the metal chariots, only to stumble upon the next nightmare. A huge house with an enormous glass front, behind which they kept small boxes. It pains me to say this, but they kept other humans in those boxes. They had been shrunk, but were still alive and recognizable.
I encountered horror after horror in this world. Light without fire, sun or magic. Voices coming from small containers, but that contain no living creature after opening. People were talking to themselves in great numbers, laughing and chatting in thin air as they walked the streets. But, the biggest abomination was up in the sky. I heard a horrible roaring above us and as I looked up I cried out in terror. In the clouds, high above, flew a dragon! Not one of the black reptilian ones, but a sleek silver one! No one else seemed to be bothered by this magnificent creature flying over us, they ignored my cries. One elderly woman pressed a coin in my hand, before shaking her head at me in pity.
It was hours before I finally succumbed to sleep in a dark and wet alley, far away from home and in a strange body. I can not tell you my relief when I awoke in my own body and in Kirkwall. Anders, my friend, I do not wish to experience this world again.
We must find some other way.
30th of Guardian, 9:36 DragonAge
"All attempts to persuade Hawke to continue our experiments have failed. Will go ahead with plans for the Chantry."